Monday, January 2, 2012

regaining focus.


The last couple of weeks have been increasingly difficult. Knowing Moses was sick, hospitalized, discharged back to the transition home, but still experiencing respiratory issues, made my heart and head ache.  I was stressed and experiencing frustrations like never before.  Communication in Ethiopia was {and continues to be} slow and it left us lacking knowledge about his condition and desperately wanting him home.

With the business of the holidays and returning back from Michigan on Wednesday (always an emotional jolt to reality)...I was exhausted and weary.  I faced three crazy days at work and I was left drained--physically and mentally.

But, I awoke on New Year's day well rested and thinking more clearly than I had in previous days.
With a renewed sense of being, I surrendered everything to God.

I surrendered Moses' health, his history, our adoption journey, and pending court date.

And then we went to church.  After weeks away due to travel and work, it was so good to be back.
{and If I didn't know better, I would have thought our pastor was preaching directly to me that morning.}  A sermon on anxiety {Matthew 6:25-34}.  A reminder to cast my cares on Him.  A reminder that I am far too concerned with MY life, and this life is not about me.  A reminder that God is sovereign and knows what we need. A reminder that I need not to worry--for God is going to accomplish what He has set out to do.  A reminder that He has me {and our son} in His hands....

I needed to hear those words so desperately.
God is good and sovereign and although at moments I feel like I'm going crazy--He is carrying us and Moses in His hands and holding us tight.  He continues to refine us and prepare us for the road ahead.  He is drawing us closer to Him and so I will continue to surrender.

Thank you for the words of encouragement, support and for praying us through.
To Him be the glory.

In Him,
Emily


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