Tuesday, May 31, 2011

all must be well.

Just over one week ago our world was rocked with the news that Z wouldn't be coming home--to us.
Once again we were reminded that this adoption is so much bigger than us, our plans & dreams.

A couple nights ago I rolled into bed and whispered to Jim, "Do you still find yourself thinking of Zeke?" {As tears welled in my eyes} He whispered, "Yes.... {and he paused} "but, I also find myself dreaming of our future and the next child God places in our lives"


"See in every sorrow and trouble of your earthly pilgrimage the hand of Him who gave Christ to die for your sins! That hand can never smite you except in love! He who gave His only begotten Son for you, will never withhold anything from you which is really for your good. Lean back on this thought and be content. Say to yourself in the darkest hour of trial, ‘This also is ordered by Him who gave Christ to die for my sins. It cannot be wrong. It is done in love. It must be well.’" -J.C. Ryle


At last, friends...it IS well with my soul.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Saturday, at last.

With a cup of coffee in hand, Mumford & Sons on Pandora, my hubby and dad installing a new kitchen sink....all is well this morning.  

My heart is content.  It's a new day after storms hit yesterday.  The sun is peaking through the clouds.  Good things are in store...

As of yesterday we're back on "the list".  #22 to be exact.  

So boy? girl? infant? toddler? 4 year old?
Only God knows.
{you're welcome to leave your guess!}

Off to spend the weekend with our much loved family!

much love.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

hurting...

Today it hurts. I worked all day yesterday and the fast pace of labor and delivery kept my mind occupied. Today is my day off. My family is here, although we're busy with house projects--my mind keeps wandering.

There were more referrals given out with our agency yesterday. Although I am overjoyed for the families, there's an ache deep within my heart and the sting of the pain is so real.

We don't doubt that God is in control or that He is at work in midst of this all.
But, today it hurts and the tears are many.

Adoption seemed so simple nine months ago.
What a journey it has been....

We're learning to let go of our dreams and learning to take each day at a time.

I cannot thank you enough for the kind words and prayers. We never imagined this is how our story would go. Although the journey hurts so bad right now, we have no doubt it will be so worth it.

blessings tonight & always,
em

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

difficult news.

This is a post we never imagined writing...and one that hurts deep within.
We received a call from our adoption consultant last night. We instantly knew the news wasn't good.
The details are sparse--but the facts remain the same.

The sweet little boy whose smile permeated our hearts--who we have prayed for by name--whose room we painted two nights ago--and whose closet was beginning to fill with well loved hand-me-downs.....

is no longer ours-
for reasons we may never know or fully understand.

The tears, confusion & uncertainties are many.

We fully believe God called us to this little guy--for reasons we may never know.
But, His plan didn't end the ways ours did.

So, we'll keep trusting and continuing on in this journey.

We will mourn and, we will move on, leaving behind a small part of our hearts
with a little boy that we already loved so dearly.

thanks for the prayers and love.
emily & jim

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

looking ahead...

Updates have become difficult to write. It's become challenging to put my thoughts, feelings and emotions into words. It's all so surreal. We have a picture of an adorable little guy--and we know he is ours--we're family, yet I don't know if my mind can fully grasp the concept until he is home, with us. I cannot wait for the day I can wrap my arms around him. I pray he likes to cuddle :)....this momma's heart needs that.

We are waiting and praying for a quick court date. We're anticipating it will be in approximately three months {we're praying it will be sooner!}. We'll meet our little man on our first trip, but we won't be able to bring him home until our second trip {hopefully five weeks or less after the first}. However, the courts in Ethiopia typically close for a month around August or September--so, we shall see :)

Soooo.....maybe Zeke will be home in October or November? It's definitely just a guess! Regardless-it will definitely be the best Thanksgiving--ever.

We're staying busy so once Z's home our life can come to a standstill and revolve around him. That alone keeps us going...

Oh. my...I can hardly contain my excitement!

Thanks for the outpouring of love & support--for the kind words and encouragement. We continue to plead for prayers as we wait and prepare to bring Zeke home.

Thanks, friends.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

looking back...

This post was written on Monday, May 9. It's a glimpse into how God has opened our hearts and an act of surrender--a glimpse into how we got to where we are today & why...

Something happened Thursday night {May 5, 2011} that has and will forever change our adoption journey.


We surrendered everything to God.


Our hearts were stirred. For the past nine months we've been envisioning an adoption of an infant. Talk of cribs, diapers, and baby carriers entered into conversation from time to time. It just seemed natural. We're young and have no biological children-yet. Adopting a baby seemed fitting.


We started to feel a stirring a couple of months ago and we took action to include special needs and change our age preference to 0-5yrs old. Our eyes were opened to the greatest need of adoption in Ethiopia--"older" children and those with special needs. Our home study was amended and just last week we sent off our paperwork to USCIS. We wanted to make our age range as wide as possible-knowing we could narrow down our age preferences within our own agency.


We told our agency 0-2 1/2 years old. That's what we felt comfortable with.


I think God laughed.


For Thursday he started stirring in our hearts even more.


There's a little boy on our agency's waitlist. He's been there for six months. His smile penetrates our hearts and we're hearing God whispering for us to take action.


This sweet boy is almost four.
God is stretching us beyond what we ever imagined....and right where He wants us to be.
We want to meet the need--where the need is....which for us, right now, means a three year old little boy without a family in Ethiopia.


So, tonight we have a conference call with our agency about this little boy-whose face we cannot get out of our minds. We'll review his file and pray without ceasing that God gives us clarity.


Our biggest prayer has and will be that God's will will be done.


We want to surrender it all....and see where He leads.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

the call....

I've attempted to start this post numerous times in the last few hours.
I'm speechless--and yet I can't stop talking.
I can't wipe the smile off my face, yet my eyes swell with tears.

Today was the day, my friends.
Today, after nine months of waiting, with a picture of a ridiculously adorable little three year old in hand, we said "YES"....a thousand times over.

Overjoyed we cried "Yes!" to a little boy who has been on our agency's waitlist for months.
Unable to contain our excitement we shouted "Yes!" to a little boy who has stolen our hearts and has forever changed us.

We said "YES!" to our first child, a son....who we named:
Ezekiel
{which means "God will strengthen"}
{We will keep his Ethiopian name as his middle name-and once he's home we can share it :) }


And with a resounding "Yes!" we celebrated our first steps into parenthood!

In the days to come, as the shock wears off and I can regain composure, I hope to write more about our story and how this all came to be.
We can't post pictures of him until we pass court, but we would love to show you his picture in person!
{so, don't hesitate to ask!}

Thank you for walking with us--for the prayers and encouragement, the sharing of tears and shouts of joy. We are honored and blessed that God has called us to adopt. We are stoked to bring Zeke home.
We are giddy and still in shock. The emotions are many and tonight we're trying to soak it all in.

Tonight we're praying God may be working in Zeke's heart and preparing him for what lies ahead. We pray he may feel God's presence in a real and tangible way and that he may know he has a mom and dad who love him and can't wait for him to come home.

We're coming sweet, child...we're coming.

witih all our love,
emily & jim