Wednesday, September 28, 2011

feeling a little....

weary? frustrated? confused?

ah, yes.  I feel like we've hit an all time low in our adoption.  A year ago I never thought we would hit this point....and I secretly vowed I would never write those kind of blogs.

but, i feel Satan creeping in.

perhaps it's because we have been at a standstill with no referrals for over 12 weeks...
and part of me is leary that this will ever happen....

it seems so surreal.
we're so close---yet it feels years away  (i'm the inpatient one)

perhaps you can say a little prayer for my heart...and my attitude.
and for God to be close and incredible real to me right now.
i need it and HIM so bad.

BUT, we do have exciting news....our dear friends, Rachel & Doug just announced they are adopting from Ethiopia!!!!  My heart bursts with joy for them (& for future play dates!)  Congrats, friends.  So, so, so excited for y'all!

that's life. incredibly real...raw emotions and all.
grateful His mercies are new every morning.
with love,

Sunday, September 11, 2011

It Is Well With My Soul

I never imagined that 36 hours after posting my previous post we would be flying home to Michigan and my life would change, forever.

Three weeks ago today, my mom passed away.  She was surrounded by family and friends and we held onto her and each other as she passed from this world into the arms of Jesus.

My mom was ready to go.  She approached death with an incredible amount of peace and joy (and even humor).  It was a complete honor to care for her at home during her last days on this earth.  It was one of the most beautiful and heart wrenching moments of my life.

She was one our biggest supporters, especially in our adoption.  If/when I get caught up thinking about the future, the pain is too much to bear.  The older I get the more I have realized how much I need my mom, now more than ever.  The tears swell and I need to remember just to know that God will grant me the grace and mercy I need to make it through the day and the days to come.

It's almost impossible to think about our adoption right now.  Things have slowed waaaaay down in Ethiopia and our agency hasn't had any referrals for months.  For you friends, who are waiting, I pray your referral comes fast.  But, truthfully I'm ok with the wait, because I can't imagine becoming a mom right now.  It hurts too bad.  But, I trust and will continue to trust in God's perfect timing.  I pray He will prepare my heart and mind for what is to come.

I hope to write more later and I will try to update our blog more frequently--but, tonight I leave you with this, words from my devotional this morning.  with love and peace, em

Abraham was tested for a very long time, but he was richly rewarded. The Lord tested him by delaying the fulfillment of His promise.  Satan tested him through temptation, and people tested him through their jealousy, distrust, and opposition to him.  Sarah tested him through her worrisome temperament.  Yet he patiently endured, not questioning God's truthfulness and power or doubting God's faithfulness and love. Instead, Abraham submitted to God's divine sovereignty and infinite wisdom.  And he was silent through many delays, willing to wait for the Lord's timing.   Having patiently endured, he then obtained the fulfillment of the promise.

Beloved, God's promises can never fail to be accomplished, and those who patiently wait can never be disappointed, for believing faith leads to realization.  Abraham's life condemns a spirit of hastiness, admonishes those who complain, commends those who are patient, and encourages quiet submission to God's will and way.

Remember, Abraham was tested but he patiently waited, ultimately received what was promised, and was satisfied.  If you will imitate his example, you will share the same blessing. 

(Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman)